Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Lust Stand - X-MEN NMP To Represent 'Balanced Treatment' Of Gay Marriage?

SINGAPORE - Thanks to a marriage of Marvel's fantastical plot twists and yet another fantastical groundbreaking decision by the Singapore authorities on banning comics, the NMP Select Committee may now consider an X-Men for Parliament.

Warbird - Appropriately Named

The appropriately named 'Warbird', a rather stunning female member of the X-Men, has taken a hardline stance against gay marriage, reportedly having said "I cannot...I do not recognize the validity of the ceremony vows...this is how i feel". 
This is a view that has received much support in local religious institutions, flash mobs and AskJesus hashtags - rich resources for choosing political leaders.

Comic depicts fictional notion of 2 men being happy and in love  
Although, even if chosen, it is unlikely that Warbird would take time off being an X-Men to take up the extremely tough (albeit part-time) role of being a Member of Parliament in Singapore which pays a meagre salary of S$16,000. On the upside we would probably throw in Singaporean citizenship as a freebie.

Pictures taken from huffingtonpost.com and comicvine.com
Tuesday, July 29, 2014

SPORTS - AskJesus Reveals Moses Did Not Join His Team After PartingReds Because Of A Roman

In an unprecedented deluge of media attention, soccer star, AskJesus Navas has crumbled under pressure and revealed all kinds of personal secrets, such as which of his 12 disciples he would leave out in his first eleven (it's Judas), or why he would run around with a jersey saying Etihad instead of El Al (mostly cause El Al would not fly anywhere near Abu Dhabi) and how he feels about crosses.

Jesus - Nailed it

In a shocking turn of events, AskJesus revealed the mystery as to why Moses and Jesus are not in the same team even though Moses has already parted from the Reds - the Roman.

Last but not least, in the greatest revelation of all, he revealed why he was the one to break bread at the last supper.



Pictures taken from pinterest.com and bleacherreport.com
 
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