Tuesday, April 15, 2014

World Cup - Pricing To Be Pegged To Minister Salary

World Cup 2014 - In a controversial turn of tables, the Singapore football viewerships' prayers have been answered in the worst possible way. Roars were up when Senior Minister of State, Mr Lawrence Wong stated on 15 April that authorities will not be stepping in to control World Cup pricing. 

Mr Wong, who is actually a Minister but whose title makes it sound like he is only almost a Minister, took up the extremely pivotal task of addressing us on Singapore's TV package prices. He explained that local authorities should not step in to control prices because it is what is known in political circles as 'populist' and possesses the legendary quality of being able to 'backfire'. This is different from suppressing hawker prices because who eats hawker food anyway?

After numerous appeals from the public, the Television United Authority of Singapore, or TUAS for short, have controversially stepped in and controlled the pricing of World Cup subscription. People have hailed this as a momentous occasion where a civil service body has done something Singaporeans wanted. This has coined a saying locally where people would 'Go TUAS' to get what they want.

However, TUAS have since announced that the controlled prices will be pegged to Minister salaries, depending on the formula, the World Cup package is estimated to cost somewhere between $50 and $500,000. This has coined another saying locally where people would say 'You Go TUAS for what?'.

Pictures taken from sg.jobsdb.com and wallpaperarranger.com

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

TV - New Hit Series 'The Bomoh's Apprentice' To Grab Singapore and Malaysia By The Coconuts

A new Bomoh is in town.

TV - The Shaman Broadcasting Company announced this afternoon their launch of a new reality television series where 20 to 30 aspiring ethnic shaman compete to work with renowned Bomoh Magnate, Mr Geoffrey S. Walker.

Mr Jeff Walker in his iconic 'Dua Kelapa' mystery-solving pose

Jeff's meteoric rise to fame is often attributed to his ability to solve unsolvable mysteries by pointing coconuts in certain directions.

This has led to a global sensation and fascination with the art of Bomoh-ing, including a slew of mobile android games.

Jeff famously predicted Greece's shock win over Portugal in the Euro 2004 finals when he said "the team that scores more goals will win". 

He is also attributed with having stopped the haze in Singapore at the behest of the Singapore government by bringing rain: http://newnation.sg/2014/03/kl-bomohs-bring-rain-to-spore/

Although, he has also been groundlessly accused of starting the haze, along with accusations such as sodomy.

SBC have assured IamAmbulance that they have absolutely not sought the approval of BBC for the use of the Apprentice franchise.

pictures taken from goodbooksguide.blogspot.com, businessinsider.my and bbc.co.uk